'

twitter

Gross-Out 2007

Category : Events & Appearances

grossout 2007

Mike Myers and the rest of “Team Koi” put on an underground gross-out contest at WHC this year. Originally, I was slated to judge, but I was asked to step down as judge and step into the ring as a contestant. This may have been the best gross-out contest in years. Every entry was hilarious and disgusting. Tough, tough competition. In the end, I took first place. This is my fourth gross-out win, and it will absolutely be my last. I’m officially retiring. The highlight of the contest for me–Joe Lansdale, who was judging, told me, “You need to get therapy.” Coming from one of my favorite writers, a true compliment.

23 Dead Hash Marks – Welcome to Canada

Category : Events & Appearances

Canada

We received this warning from M. L. Howard just before we set off for Canada:

WARNING… a group of deer have been spotted just across the Canadian border… Reports state that they are acting oddly… like they’re waiting for someone or something… they are wandering along side the highway to Toronto, looking southward. Authorities say that the may be armed… use extreme caution.

Reports state that their leader, a doe with known ties to the Canadian Crips gang has sworn a oath to take out as many Missouri girls as possible this season in retaliation for some disrespect that occured in the past. She is known to carry a Glock 9 loaded with Black Talon ammunition

For those who don’t know, my lovely wife is terribly afraid of deer. Thanks for the warning, Mr. Howard.

As we rode along, I drew a little hash mark in my journal every time I saw a deer. I saw 23 of them, all dead. There’s a morbid bit of travel news for ya.

We made it across the border … almost without trouble. The border guard didn’t like the zombie mannequin we had in the back of the van, and the other border guard liked JimmyZ even less.

But we’re here, despite getting lost a couple of times when we first arrived in Toronto. A few of my friends, such as Nate Southard and Steve Shrewsbury, are here a day early, too. More of my pals should be arriving today, and I’m excited to see them. Should be a great time.

More later.

The Invasion of Canada Begins Now!

Category : Events & Appearances

Tomorrow morning, Cindy, JimmyZ, and I will be piling into a van and steamrolling towards Toronto for this year’s World Horror Convention. I’m excited to go on a trip with my lovely wife and a great friend, and it’ll be nice to see all my allies on the horror writing front. I’m also participating in a couple of panels and signings, including:

Thursday, March 29th
The Care and Feeding of Your Website and Blog
10:00pm – 11:00pm
Simcoe Room

Because, you know, I’m a website genius! Rawk!

Friday, March 30th
Reading Selections From Countless Haints
4:30pm – 5:00pm
Simcoe Room

Reading something from Ominous Landing feels “right” to me.

Friday, March 30th
Mass Autographing
08:00pm–10:00pm
Ballrooms A/B

Although I swear I won’t be selling anything there!

Friday, March 30th
Gross-Out Contest
10:30pm – 11:30pm
Who Knows Where!?

Just when I thought I was out … I’ll be writing my story on the drive to Canada.

Saturday, March 31st
Signing, along with Michael Laimo (Dead Souls) and W. D. Gagliani (Wolf Trap)
11 am – 12 pm
HWA Signing Area

I hope to see you there! I’ll try to post some updates from the convention.

I will be selling copies of The Damned here.

Rapid Fire Movie Review #4: Snakes on a Plane

Category : Interviews and Reviews

Putting My Netflix Subscription to Work For You …

The setup: Criminals put supernaturally fast Jumangi-style venomous snakes on a plane in hopes of killing a would-be witness before he can testify.

My thoughts: Does what I think about this movie really matter? If you’re inclined to watch it, you most likely know what you’re going to be getting– –a schlocky, silly couple of hours full of airplane disaster movie tropes and complete with cuts to what I like to call “snake-o-vision”. Lots of senseless mayhem ensues. The cast is full of suitable stereotypes, and the pilot looks a little like the inflatable auto-pilot from the Airplane movies. And, since I’m willing to bare my soul in regards to this movie, I must admit I got a little misty eyed at the end when the one nameless little boy saves his nameless little brother. Seriously. Watch this one with a crowd of loud, obnoxious friends … but don’t let them see you blubber and weep.

So, the Papa Tomato Squishes the Baby Tomato and Says …

Category : Comics, General

There’s been plenty going on in the last couple of weeks, so I thought I’d post a general update.

First of all, the fifth and final issue of The Damned: Three Days Dead was released today. It doesn’t matter how many times Eddie has cheated death; there’s always another triggerman trying to make the deal permanent. Will Eddie finally be able to piece together who’s trying to keep the families warring, or will he finally break his curse and sleep the deep sleep of the damned?

But don’t worry, I’ll have plenty to keep me busy even though the story arc is done. In fact, flip to the end of issue 5 (but watch out for spoilers!) to get an idea of what Brian and I are working on right now.

In other news, I’ve recently started work on the second book in the Crooked Hills series. Crooked Hills is a young adult horror novel that’s near and dear to my heart. I’m actively shopping it, and I’m confident it’ll be picked up sooner or later. In addition, I’ve started an unrelated young adult novel tenatively titled The Autumn Kingdom.

At the end of the month, I’ll be attending the World Horror Convention in Toronto. I was slated to judge the “official” gross-out contest. But when the official event was cancelled and an underground version rose up in its place, I was asked to enter the contest again. I’m not sure if I have another winning entry in me, but I’ll give it the old college (or is it grade school) try!

I know I haven’t posted a rapid-fire movie review in a while, but–believe me!–I’m still watching movies. I’ve got a few new reviews, as well as comic and book reviews, to post soon.

In the most important news of all, Cindy and I filed our finalized dossier to adopt a child. Our paperwork is on the way to China, and we’ve got a looooong time to wait yet, but I can’t even begin to explain the mish-mash of hope, nerves, and impatience I’m feeling. I’ll try to put it to words in the coming weeks. For now, I just want to thank all the people who’ve offered support and love over the past several months.