ISSUE 212: MURDER LEMONADE
Just yesterday, I attended a Track Directors meeting for Tremendicon. As you know, I’m on the Board of Directors for this convention and I’m helping put together content for the Writers and Comic Book tracks. I’ve got upwards of 20 hours worth of time to fill, and I’ve got so many panels already lined out, I’ll probably have to trim a few panel topics. But they’re all so good!
Anyhow, I was dragging a bit on the way to the meeting, so I decided to grab something to give me a little boost. A zero-sugar caffeinated blood orange lemonade? Don’t mind if I do! It’s a lemonade, sure, but it’s also cool and tough. You know, because it’s a BLOOD orange lemonade.
And also because it can kill you!
“Oh,” one of the other Track Directors said as I walked through the door, “you’re having a Murder Lemonade.” At which point I learned that these high-octane lemonades have been blamed for at least a couple deaths. Apparently, they have so much caffeine in them that they can be dangerous if you’re not careful.
Now, I didn’t have time to check on the validity of the claims, at least not at the meeting. So I shrugged and took a sip.
“When I finally get murdered,” I said, “it won’t be by lemonade.”
“What if,” Tremendicon Head Honcho Dave asked, “you get killed by a murderer NAMED Lemonade?”
Loophole!
(I did discover later that there have been wrongful death lawsuits filed in relation to the caffeinated lemonade. I think both are associated with either drinking way too many of the lemonades or drinking them without realizing they contained caffeine. But, I drink way too much caffeine as it is (I type as I take a drink of a Mountain Dew Zero I don’t even remember buying). I don’t need to add vicious lemonade to the mix.)
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Hey, team! I’m Cullen Bunn, and in between swilling down radioactive lemonade like strychnine, I spent the weak writing comics, writing novels, writing RPG scenarios, writing screenplays, writing press releases, writing one-of-a-kind CROOKED HILLS stories, preparing Kickstarter campaigns, taking my son to orchestra rehearsals, receiving emails that are both exciting and terrifying, ordering stock for conventions, organizing existing stock, ordering trading cards, doing interviews, taking the dog to the vet, painting miniatures, making candles, dieting, chewing bubble gum, and kicking ass.
I’m hoping for more of the same this week. I admit, though. Right this second? Not feeling it. I barely want to finish this newsletter. Just not feeling motivated. And that’s OK. Sometimes, creators just don’t have much engine in the tank. And every person deals with it in their own way. Today, I’m going to deal with it by forcing myself to work. I run the blockade. That’s the thing that works for me. Your mileage will vary.
I have several scripts due and a lofty word count goal. I also have a bunch of phone meetings and Zoom calls. And that’s not to mention the screenplay revision, the convention prep, the trading cards, the social media initiatives, and other elements of the 2024 FIVE that still need to come together. I’m also pretty sure my son has four concerts this week.
Let’s get the damage done.
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Heath Amodio and I joined Horror Fuel to discuss our new Storm King book LONG HAUL.
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The book, as you’ll see below, comes out this week! You’ll be able to get it from your favorite comic shop or book retailer. You can also get it directly from Storm King.
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Want another sneak peek at the BEYOND MORTAL trading cards? Well, why didn’t you say so!
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I’m really excited about these cards. They will be available in 7-card sets that Cindy and I put together with our bare hands. I’m printing a limited number of these first wave cards, which showcase several members of the Vanguard Alliance. They also feature the first official appearance of JUMPSCARE, who I think you’re gonna love. I’ll have these at Planet Comicon. If I have any left over, I will make them available on my website.
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Speaking of Planet Comicon, I’ve been receiving a bunch of email requesting that I bring specific books to the convention. If you are going to be at the convention and you want me to bring something in particular and hold it for you at the table, please let me know! I may not have the item in question, but if I do, I will try to have it there for you!
That convention is only 18 days away.
Time is not taking any prisoners.
But neither are we.
Some big announcements in the next week or so, I think. Actually, there may be some big announcements later today worth noting. Until next time, I hope you are living your most stellar life.
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DARK AND TWISTED: LONG HAUL
Fact: there are over 700 missing people along America’s interstate highways, hunted, taken, and killed by more than 300 active serial killers.
When Sarah Blake went missing on her way to work, it was too much for her sickly father to handle. His passing, coupled with Sarah’s disappearance, left her older brothers Danny and Carl filled with rage and loss. With nothing and no one left to lose, the two men decide to spend whatever time they have left hunting down long haul serial killers, uncovering the truth about Sarah, and taking the murderers out in brutal fashion.
During their mission for revenge, they learn about a convoy of sociopathic killers known only as The Nine. One of them stole Sarah from beside her broken down car, and the Blake brothers must violently work their way through the Nine and their protectors until they come to the member who took he
Written by Cullen Bunn and Heath Amodio, with art by Andrea Mutti, inks by Gigi Baldassini, and colors by Valerio Alloro.
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INVASIVE #3
Oni 2024’s staggering slice of surgical horror takes a wrenching twist with creators Cullen Bunn (The Sixth Gun, Basilisk) and Jesús Hervás (The Empty Man)! At last, Vic and Carrie have gained entrance into the underground hospital where surgery addicts can get experimental, dangerous, and unnecessary procedures to fuel their compulsions at the sadistic-but-practiced hands of the mysterious Dr. Ware. His procedures, once taken too far, engender a new blasphemy . . . one that is now spilling into the streets as his deformed former patients—the murder surgeons—exercise their ritual of pain and transformation on unsuspecting victims.
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As busy as I’ve been this week, I haven’t been able to engage with a lot of outside reading, watching, or listening. Hell, I pulled the DVD for MOLDIVER out four times and keep getting sidetracked away from it.
You should check out, though, the Kickstarter for SLICE(S) OF LIFE. It’s a comic anthology set in a world… where pizza has been outlawed. It’s a ridiculous oddball concept that I think is really fun.
PUNK IS DEAD is a ttrpg compatible with MORK BORG and featuring some terrific design elements (like MORK BORG). It is set in a version of the UK where anything bad that could have happened, DID happen. Players take the roles of a band touring theH apocalypse.
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A certain number of backers of the CROOKED HILLS Kickstarter campaign received one-of-a-kind handwritten ghost stories. Those went to the distributor early this week!
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I dunno.
A long, long time ago at a Renaissance Faire.
I should have bought that hat.
Actually, in true barbarian style, I should have stolen it.
The way I must’ve been stealing hearts.
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All events are subject to change at a moment’s notice, but here is where I’ll be appearing in the next several months!I
March 8 - 10, 2024 - PLANET COMICON, Kansas City, Missouri
May 31 - June 2, 2024 - TREMENDICON, Springfield, Missouri
All Year Long - KICKING ASS AND TAKING NAMES, Worldwide
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THE SHOCK SHOP - My online store, where you can find exclusive covers you can only get directly from me!
PATREON - Here, I post a serialized novel, a serialized comic book, short stories, and other cool materials.
CULLEN'S AMAZON STORE - Listen! If you have a local comic shop or bookshop, PLEASE visit them and order your books from them. If you don't have a shop, though, or if you can't get my books from your local bookseller for some reason, this Amazon shop has tons of options.
THE CULLEN BUNN DISCORD SERVER - A place for fans to hang out and talk about comics, books, movies, games, collecting, and whatever else strikes their fancy.
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